Ice Laughers

Here’s a couple of NHL jokes I had a good chuckle over. Enjoy.

Mario Lemieux, Steve Yzerman and Wayne Gretzky are standing before God at the throne of Heaven.
God looks at them and says, “Before granting any of you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in.”
Addressing Lemieux first He asks, “What do you believe?”
Mario looks into God’s eyes and states passionately, “I believe hockey to be the food of life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so many people, from Moscow to the bright lights of New York. I have devoted my life to bringing such joy to people who watch us play.”
God looks up and offers Mario the seat to his left.
He then turns to Yzerman, “And you Stevie Y., what do you believe?”
Yzerman stands proud and firm, “I believe courage, honour and passion are the fundamentals to life and I’ve spent my whole playing career providing a living embodiment of these traits.”
God, moved by the passion of the speech, offers Yzerman the seat to his right.
He finally turns to the Great One, “And you Wayne, what do you believe?”
Gretzky says smugly, “I believe you are in my seat.”

Playing for the Toronto Maple Leafs is just like running in the special olympics. Even if you win, you’re still retarded.

Did you hear that on the Leafs’ bus, they hooked up a lie detector.
McCabe tries it on and says, “I think we have the best defense in the league.” Right away, the detector goes off.
Sundin hooks himself up and says, “I think I’m the best hockey player in the game.” The lie detector goes off again.
Then, Tucker steps up and says, “I think..” and immediately, the lie detector goes off.